My decision to be a stay-at-home mom

To be honest and transparent, this was always my dream. To be able to stay at home with my kids and not have to send them to daycare. To be there for them during their entire first few years of life to just raise them and be there through every milestone. 

When I was pregnant with Paxton, I quickly realized that dream was not going to happen because it was not financially smart to quit my job as a teacher. We were so lucky that in his first year he was able to stay at home with my mom and mother-in-law and not go to daycare. To be honest and transparent again, I hated that I had to go back to work. Leaving him was the hardest thing I had ever done at that point in my life. I cried every single time I had to go into a closet and pump. I cried every morning kissing him goodbye. I cried every night knowing I wasn’t going to see him for a full day. It. Was. Awful. Summer couldn’t have come fast enough. 

When Paxton was 15 months old, we had to put him in daycare when I went back to work in the fall. It was just too much for my mom and mother-in-law to watch him every single day. I get it. That’s why daycare is so expensive! Watching and entertaining a child all day long is hard work. But I thought dropping Paxton off with my mom was hard, dropping him off at daycare was 10x harder. Walking away from a screaming crying toddler not understanding why he was being left there. Oh my gosh. I hated that. I know everyone has different opinions on daycare. I get that too. But this is mine. 

At this point I was 3 months pregnant with Hadley so I brought up staying home again. Colton wanted that for me too. He was just scared he wasn’t going to be able to provide enough for it to be possible. I understood that. We weighed the pros and cons. Made a budget. Talked and talked some more. Then finally decided that with two children in daycare my salary as a teacher would be basically nothing. The majority of money I made would go straight to keeping them in daycare so why in the heck would I want to do that? I didn’t. So, I quit my job and started my new role as a stay-at-home mom. 

This was my dream! I should be so happy! No complaints! I am here with my two babies. This is everything I ever wanted. 

And then… 8 weeks into my new role as a stay-at-home mom, coronavirus happened. We were tight on money. I mean so tight. My husband, our now sole provider, had never been more stressed. This made me stressed. He began searching for a new job and my head filled with several thoughts at once:

How in the world are we going to make it?

Was this a good decision??

Was I being selfish in wanting to stay home with my kids?

What else can we do to bring in some extra money?

My response was to start this blog. Hoping that I could have an outlet, create a community, spread inspiration, but also one day - maybe, just maybe - help support our family. I quickly realized not only was being able to stay home with my kids and be a full time mom my passion, but so was this.

I love having something for myself. Don’t get me wrong, my kids give me purpose, but at the end of the day, I need something for ME. And this was it! But I know it will take years for it to help support my family and I am so thankful my husband encouraged me to start.

The decision to stay home was not easy. We, as parents, make so many sacrifices for our kids. Every decision is because of them. So if you are struggling right now to make the decision to stay home but don’t know if you can afford it or not, if it is meant to be you will find a way. As cliche as that sounds. You will move mountains to do it. We prayed - hard. We budgeted - hard. Then Colton got a new job (hallelujah!!) and I started this blog. Sacrifices were made because that was how important this was for both of us. 

If this is something you are considering I encourage you to talk with your partner and find out what you can do to make it a reality. I think being a stay-at-home mom is such a gift and I do not take it for granted at ALL that I get to do this. I know it is not feasible for everyone. I know that the “living on a budget” lifestyle is not for everyone. I also know that not every mom wants to stay at home and that’s ok too! If you want something go for it. If you can change something, change it. Prayers require action. 

If you have any other questions about my decision to stay home and how we made this work. Please feel free to reach out. I'd love to provide you with support in any way that I can.

With love,

Megan